There's no major hook without revealing the secret

In a recent Pitch Slam Weekend held by YA Lit Chat, authors submitted a pitch of 2 -3 sentences to 3 agents and these agents then responded and they chose 5 pitches that they wanted to see the entire manuscript for. It was a very interesting exercise and one common thread I noticed amongst the agent responses was that they wanted authors to reveal the secret of the book.

I was surprised to read this. Firstly, it suggests that agents want to know the hook. Secondly, it suggests that authors don’t want to reveal it.

I had to ask myself if the reason authors disliked revealing the hook was because we feared that the agents or publishers would not bother to buy the cow when the milk was being given away for free. Or is it that agents and publishers needed to see the connection the reader would make with the characters and their conflict?

Characters and conflict are the two most important aspects of any novel. Who the story is about and why there is a story to being with is the foundations of any novel. Without conflict and characters there is no story. However, as a writer of a YA novel The Bird With The Broken Wing, which has a major twist at the end, I am not about to give away the secret because I want my readers to feel pleasantly surprised when they find it out themselves. Yet I am aware that the twist comes at the end and I have to get a reader interested in wanting to read my book in the first place.  

But if there is no major hook without revealing the secret, how does a writer create the perfect pitch?

Firstly, what is a pitch? It’s a two or three paragraph description of the book which sets the scene, genre, basic premise and creates intrigue. Check the blurbs on the back of novels for their description. Some are vague. Some are like the prologue and the story kicks off from the end of the blurb. 

Here are a few examples of books blurbs to give an idea of what we writers present to the world of readers out there.

The inner jacket blurb for Linger by Maggie Stiefvater is this:

the longing.

Once Grace and Sam have found each other, they know they must fight to stay together. For Sam, this means a reckoning with his werewolf past. For Grace, it means facing a future that is less and less certain.

the loss.

Into their world comes a new wolf named Cole, whose past is full of hurt and danger. He is wrestling with his own demons, embracing the life of a wolf while denying the ties of being human.

the linger.

For Grace, Sam and Cole, life is a constant struggle between two forces - wolf and human - with love barings its two sides as well. It is harrowing and euphoric, freeing and trapping, enticing and alarming. As their worlds fall apart, love is what lingers. But will it be enough?

Linger is a truly great read, though all I know from the blurb is the name of the characters and not much else.

The blurb for Evernight by Claudia Gray is this:

Bianca wants to escape.

She's been uprooted from her small hometown and enrolled at Evernight Academy, an eerie Gothic boarding school where the students are somehow too perfect: smart, sleek, and almost predatory. Bianca knows she doesn't fit in.

Then she meets Lucas. He's not the 'Evernight type' either, and he likes it that way. Lucas ignores the rules, stands up to the snobs and warns Bianca to be careful - even when it comes to caring about him.

"I couln't stand it if they took it out on you," he tells Bianca, "and eventually they would."

But the connection between Bianca and Lucas can't be denied. Bianca will risk anything to be with Lucas, but dark secrets are fated to tear them both apart...and to make Bianca question everything she's ever believed.

This book even admit that it holds secrets. But the agents want us to reveal them. Seriously, what is a writer to do.

The blurb for my novel The Bird With The Broken Wing by D L Richardson (moi) is this:

Angels may not reveal themselves to mortals. But when the mortal Rachael’s watching over is hurting, how can she stay hidden in the shadows?

Guardian angel Rachael becomes trapped with the mortal she’s been assigned to watch over. Unable to watch him suffer, she decides the only way to free him of his inner demons is to break the rules about becoming involved, revealing her true identity, and applying divine intervention. But what choice does she have? Without her help, his soul will be trapped forever. Then a stranger appears, giving Rachael reason to wonder if his is the only soul in need of saving...

 It took me ages to come up with a blurb that didn't give too much away.

The blurb for the BookTrailer of The Bird With The Broken Wing goes like this:

Angels are bound by rules. Don’t reveal your true identity. Don’t apply divine intervention. Even if the mortal you’ve been assigned to watch over is hurting.

He is a soldier, haunted by his past. What he has seen and done is unforgiveable. Without the angel’s help his soul maybe lost forever.

The unexpected appearance of a teenager threatens to undo the angel’s attempts to save her mortal. This girl thinks she has escaped her demons. But they won’t let her forget what she has done. What none of them realize is that she is the key to their freedom.

When mortals make mistakes they’re forgiven. When angels make mistakes, they’re forsaken.

(N.B - I specifically chose no names in this trailer as this is Version 1. Version 2 will be different as I’m testing what works better.)

To me, too much more than what is revealed in the above two blurbs would screams Spoiler Alert. Could I have revealed more of the story without spoiling the twist at the end? I'm still not so sure. The movie, The Sixth Sense, would not have worked so brilliantly if we were all told the twist up front. What would Star Wars be if we knew that Darth Vadar was Luke’s father right from the opening credits? A savvy reader can anticipate the twist and still enjoy it when it comes. But nobody likes a spoiler alert either. So what does a writer do?

When I put my reader’s hat on I recognize that there are millions of books out there, and the blurb is the one indication of whether I want to invest my time and money to read it. The trick for authors is to reveal enough to entice someone to want to read the story, yet not too much that it reads like a laundry list. There are classes on perfecting the pitch to agents and publishers and perhaps this is perhaps one of the most important parts of the writing process that new authors should take the time to learn. I’m not saying mine are brilliant. I’m as stuck as anybody else on how to tell entice a reader to select my book from the millions of others on the market. But as there are literally thousands of pitches sent to agents and publishers each week, the pitch needs to do its job.

When I read through the selection of responses to pitches from Pitch Slam Weekend from YA Lit Chat, it is clear that many writers (and I must include myself amongst this lot) are afraid to give too much of the story away when pitching to agents and publishers. We feel that by revealing the secret that nobody will want to read our book. If the pitch/ synopsis / blurb are too vague, then will the reader be bothered to read what we have spent months or years crafting? If the pitch is too detailed, will the reader gain anything from reading the book? Perhaps what I and many other writers should do is to allow the writing to speak for itself and to let the agent or publisher decide if they like the story.

A small selection of responses to pitches from Pitch Slam Weekend are:

·         Tell me what the secret is, and that will make me decide whether to pursue this book.

·         Don’t keep secrets in your pitch.

·         There's a fine line between leaving enough of a mystery to intrigue the editor or agent and not telling them enough. Since I don't know what the secret is here, I'm not sure what makes this different enough to stand out in the market.

·         To really hook the reader, though, you might need a few more details so we have some idea of the direction of the story.

·         I do wish you'd alluded to why she distances herself a bit more, however.

·         I just found this too vague. It's another example of a query that left me wanting to read more because I didn't understand what was happening, not because I was so utterly compelled

·         It sounds like there could be something compelling here, but it's too vague to get a strong grasp on it.

·         I'm sorry, but I have no idea what your book is about, much less its genre.

·         This is another one where it seems the secret is the major hook, so if you don't tell it--if it's not revealed until the end--it's going to be hard to draw in readers.

Perhaps the lesson here is tell the entire story to the agent or publisher, but write an intriguing blurb for the reader.

On another note, it was scary to see just how many writers are out there. This was only YA writers pitching their novel ideas. There are probably fewer stars in the sky than there are writers on this planet.

P.S I promised I'd be posting my top 10 Punk Chick Flicks but I thought this post was more interesting. Punk Chick Flick #5 still to come. ..

The Bird with the Broken Wing - Book Trailer

I'm excited to lanch my first book trailer for my novel The Bird with the Broken Wing.

I had a lot of fun creating this.

Is it ever a good idea to pitch an unfinished manuscript?

A common question asked by new authors is, do you have to finish the novel before submitting it to agents and publishers? Unless you are famous or you already have a stack of published novels to your name, the answer is yes.

Submission guidelines vary from publisher to publisher, and agent to agent. Some want the entire manuscript for consideration. Some ask for the first 3 or 4 chapters. And because many publishers/agents then take 6 months to get through the slush pile, some authors think sending in 3 polished chapters creates an opportunity to play the catch-up game.

The catch-up game goes like this.

February - Author posts 3 sample chapters to publisher/agent

February - Submission arrives at publisher/agent

February to August – Submission sits in publisher/agent slush pile blocking fire exit door

February to August - Author madly types away to finish the manuscript in the 6 months if takes publisher/agent to pick their submission up off the slush pile

August – Publisher/agent reads sample chapters and a request is made to read the finished product

August - Author has two weeks to do one last final review before sending off completed manuscript

I’m sure there are a few authors out there who have played this game. Marian Keyes reportedly sold her first book “Watermelon” based on the first few chapters. Only she didn’t play the catch-up game till after the publisher asked to see the whole novel. "What novel?" she said. She'd never planned to write one. Marian was lucky that the publisher saw something he was willing to work with. Most publishers don’t have the time to nurture talent anymore. Publishing is a business, not a mentoring program. Nowadays many authors have to be savvy to the business and are often expected to get their work appraised and professionally edited before submitting.

Back to pitching an unfinished manuscript. Should you do it? While this sounds like a perfectly timed plan to type up 3 chapters and write while you’re waiting, the result is that an author will most likely end up submitting 8,000 words that don’t even make it to the final version.

The first few paragraphs in my first draft of The Bird With The Broken Wing went like this…

 

Twenty feet below the No Entry sign black water danced around the rocks, leaping in and out of the mouth of the blowhole. When the waves came down upon the rocks they cracked loud as gun fire. The girl standing on the slippery edge didn’t flinch a bit. Instead, she closed her eyes and waited, like a lover bracing for a kiss. A wave shot up at her, slapping its cold, wet fingers against her cheek. She almost laughed at that.

Waves come in sets of seven building up in strength each time. Jet quickly wiped the water from her eyes and returned to staring into the blowhole. What if the next set carried the slap that was strong enough to knock her off the ledge? She’d surely sink into the abyss below and disappear into a world that might make it necessary for her to breathe underwater. Even though she was seventeen years of age, she’d never gotten over wanting to be a mermaid.

The first few paragraphs of the published version of The Bird With The Broken Wing went like this…

She was a chronic worrier—

“I have a bad feeling about this, Ben.”

—and a touch melodramatic.

“This is suicide. It’s also stupid, morally wrong, and pointless. And did I mention suicide?”

Ben wasn’t listening. He was reaching a hand inside the open neck of his shirt. She’d spent enough time with him to know he was touching the cross on the necklace that had once belonged to his dad.

“Detached, that’s how you make me feel, Ben. Like I’m watching your life through a window.”

Striking up an old conversation was hardly creative, yet the feeling of not belonging with him was just as strong now. She gave a heavy, audible sigh but Ben wasn’t taking the bait. “A bubble. I live in a bubble.”

“Relax.” Ben closed his eyes as he sucked up a deep, dusty red breath like he was meditating on Mars. “Everything will be all right.”

As you can see there is a big difference between the two versions. Theyr’e not even the same Point Of View. Halfway through the project I shifted POV and this changed the entire book!

There is a good reason why the publisher or agent asks to see the finished manuscript. What would he/she have thought if he/she had fallen in love with the first version and I sent them something entirely different. What if I had suddenly made one of the characters an alien? What if I’d changed the gender or age or genre between first and final draft?

So while it might seem like a perfect plan to pitch an unfinished manuscript and play the catch-up game, you are more likely to find this method it very detrimental to your pitch. Publishers and agents rarely agree to look at something that has already been pitched to them.

A Novel Tribute to Guardian Angels - Kindle Fever author guest post

In my biggest giveaway ever, I'm giving away 3x copies of The Bird With The Broken Wing, in ebook format, to Kindle Fever followers. This giveaway is open to everyone until midnight Jan 29.

You can also read my author guest post about where my inspiration for my novel came from.

http://rebgeo.net/posts/guest-post-giveaway-x3-dl-richardson-a-novel-tribute-to-guardian-angels/

Interview with Book Devotee Reviews

Today, Book Devotee Reviews posted an interview I had been meaning to write since November. Back in November I was madly packing for a 3 week overseas holiday so I put off typing up the interview. When I got backfrom my trip it was Christmas so I put off writing it again. Christmas became New Year. New Year became back to work. I have nearly caught up with everything.

Thank you to Jet of Book Devotee Reviews for forgiving me my tardiness and posting the interview on your site. You are awesome xox

http://bookdevoteereviews.blogspot.com/2012/01/author-interview-d-l-richardson.html?zx=5b7f064fd6f94869

Steampunk Fiction and Fashion

Just taking a break from editing. 30 pages down. 150 to go. Thought I would post some photos of Victorian fashion because I think the clothes of that era are so beautiful. No wonder Steam Punk Fiction is so appealing. YA Fantasy Guide recently posted an interiew by Lia Habel, author of Dearly, Departed where Lia explains steampunk fiction. 

Steam punk fiction is a literary genre that takes place in the Victorian era or other world similar to the Victorian era. It usually includes steam driven machinery. It can include the supernatural as well. 

I love this quote though... 

“Steampunk is what happens when goths discover brown.” – Jess Nevins

Here is a link to some Steampunk Fiction you can read for free.

Below is some Victoria fashion for the ladies to fantasize about.

Either a writer writes or they don’t

Still procrastinating about starting or finishing that novel? Maybe you need to ask yourself if writing is what you really want to do.

Most writers spend years writing, writing, writing only to earn nothing, nothing, nothing. There are so few J K Rawlings and so many D L Richardsons. What? Never heard of D L Richardson? Of course you haven’t. She is a writer who is grateful to have a published novel but in reality accepts she will probably never sell as many books as J K.

But I don’t write for the money. I doubt any real writer does. We write because we are compelled to. Shakespeare summed it up when he wrote “to be or not to be”. It is as simple as that. There is no such thing as an aspiring writer. Either a writer writes or they don’t.

Yes, there are times when I wish I could give it all away and lead a normal life, but I am addicted to writing. My desk has a gravitational pull that sucks me in whenever I go too far from it. I feel guilty when I take time off writing. What good is a holiday if my book is never finished?

Besides, I am loathe to admit this, but I don’t have time for a normal life.  A social life has become a luxury I can ill afford. I work full time and spend every other waking minute writing. True, I miss out on lots of fun but I have learned that there is always a party, always a barbeque, always an offer to catch up for shopping, coffee or cocktails. Life goes on, with or without me, yet occasionally I drag myself out of my cave and mingle with society – after all, there is a limit to what make-believe characters can offer me.

I do try hard to be a good friend, a caring sibling, a model employee, a diligent bill payer, a proud housekeeper, an exceptional chef. Some of these things I can outsource. For example I can employ a cook, a cleaner, a personal assistant. I can’t outsource my writing or my spousal/friend/sibling duties though. So the line has to be drawn on what is important and what isn’t.

For many writers, the thought of not giving it their best shot is the thing that propels us to keep writing. As one author I know said, “On my deathbed, I wouldn’t regret that I didn’t plant those leeks, but I’d regret not writing the novel that’s in my head.” I totally agree.